[REAL STORY] My name is Lilly and I lost my virginity at 12 yo (Part II)

Additionally, how was I gathered to talk up with some person brutally entering my mouth? It was likely my blame, I didn’t make it clear sufficient that I wasn’t getting a charge out of myself. Women are instructed to be calm and neighborly; we are instructed not to talk up, indeed in circumstances just like the ones I specified in the previous part. 

I lost my virginity at 12 years old.

A girl loses her virginity at a young age.

Real story, a female girl lost virginity.

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I lost my virginity

We are instructed, from an awfully youthful age, that sex is despicable which on the off chance that we did talk up, the chances of us being accepted or taken genuinely are thin to none. After my assault, I told my stepmother and a specialist almost what I had experienced, both of whom inquired me on the off chance that I was “sexually active”, as in the event that assault is considered consensual sex. The specialist who did my exam made me feel despicable and appalling. I was utilized and it was my fault. 

I was never instructed approximately condoms or other preventative birth control measures. I got pregnant at eighteen since the “pull out method” had not been an successful birth control degree. It had continuously worked some time recently, and on the off chance that a lady isn’t totally resolute almost wearing condoms, history tells us that the man isn’t planning to thrust it. 

I had no thought that I seem get a sexually transmitted illness or contamination from verbal sex, and I had no thought that I had the proper to say “no” at anytime amid sex. Usually what happens when we don’t instruct youthful women and young ladies that they have real autonomy. You see, presently that I know that assent is obvious, progressing, and willing — which assent once does not cruel assent until the end of time, I can look back on my sexual encounters and see that I was abused. Had I learned this when I was much, much more youthful, I would have known that I had the proper not to be entered against my will. I wouldn’t have thought, “he likely didn’t know I was fifteen,” around the thirty-something barkeep who got me intoxicated in a bar that I had no commerce in. I wouldn’t have worn the title “jail bait” as a identification of honor. I wouldn’t have thought that my body was fair an object.

My story may not be like everybody else’s, but statistically we know that abstinence only education does not work. When you shame young women and girls about their sexuality, when you don’t teach us that we have rights and options, we inevitably grow up believing that we cannot say no. We grow up not understanding that there are birth control options that men are not in charge of. When you shame our bodies and our sexuality, you’re telling us that we are not in charge of our bodies or our sexuality. You’re telling us that we have no bodily autonomy.

I learned that I had no bodily autonomy at twelve-years-old; my body belonged to whatever man had laid claim to it. After I was labelled a slut, it didn’t really matter anymore — it was tattooed on my forehead; I was a runaway, I wore revealing clothing, I was a bad kid, so whatever happened to my body I deserved. I was an object, remember? If I wore a short skirt, I was for the taking.

Had I been taught what consent is, I would have never been raped. I would have never thought of myself and my body as an object. I would have known that I had bodily autonomy, that I could take birth control, that I didn’t have to have sex with whatever man wanted me. The fact is, that if we continue to tell young girls that their bodies are not their own, if we continue letting men legislate our bodies, we are telling young girls and women that they do not matter, that their bodies do not matter, and that resistance is futile.

We need to begin educating young girls and women on the ideas of consent, we need to be telling them that their sexuality is not shameful and that they have rights. Young girls and women need to know that they are in charge, not the people whom they allow the privilege to see them naked or to be sexually intimate with them. Young people need to be educated on the topics of sex and sexuality, and that starts with removing the shame that we teach young girls, and teaching young boys that they do not have the inalienable right to anything that they want.

If we begin at the root cause: teaching young boys about consent and teaching young girls that they have rights, we are challenging the norm. We are telling young girls that they matter, and we are telling young boys that, “boys will be boys,” is unacceptable. Abstinence only education fails every single time, it’s time that we acknowledge that and change the ways in which we talk to children and teens about sex.

Pretending that it doesn’t exist does not work.

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